This has been a tough week. Difficult. Exhausting...
Heartbreaking.
This past week, I've watched someone I love, lose someone who was dearly beloved. I've watched friends and family hold each other up as their sorrow reverberates to the skies; pouring in pain of the bereaved. I've watched the woman who was a mother, wife, best friend - clutching her chest as if it could keep her heart from breaking to pieces. I've watched the love of my life, looking for answers that will never come.
I've watched, while listening to my own grief knocking at my door. Because when you get down to it, you can't comfort your loved ones from grief without splitting scars and reopening wounds that's been buried deep in the crevices of your core. I want to tell him that there's nothing wrong of letting go, to cry until there's nothing left. I want to tell him that there will be times where he thinks he's come to acceptance, only to be reminded of that one thing that will turn him inside out and start falling apart all over again. I wish I could wipe it all away - I wish I could do more. When Genette left, I could barely stand hearing her name while I searched relentlessly for someone to tell me this is all a bad dream; for her to come around the corner to tell me that this was a joke. I wish that she would. I wish, I wish, I wish.
But there's no hope in looking back. I can't offer any comforting words to say - I'm as bad in dealing with grief as anyone. So while it hurts, and the darkness seem to close in, I can tell you one thing I know for certain. You ready?
We just keep on breathing.
Keep on keeping on.
Hope will come, love will mend, life will move on. They're not left behind - they're with us; they're with us in the miracle of life so that we can share and impart our fondest of memories of them and our footprints for the generations to come.
All I know is that they're there. In spirit, in heart. This is what keeps me going so I can be the support he can lean on at this most difficult time. So that one day I can celebrate and watch him conquer his demons, to accept, love, and find peace within himself.
PS: Kuya Pogz, say hi to Genette for me up there.
